It's really strange, but lately I have read a lot of articles, blog posts, heard stories on the radio or tv, or in a conversation with a friend or in the homily at church and thought, what a coincidence...that's exactly what I needed to hear. I haven't kept track of them all, and I usually forget what each was about. Today I wanted to share one. And I hope that it can help someone else, too. I don't think that these messages being presented to me are just coincidences. I think that they are God's way of telling me not to worry, he's got a plan for me.
My personality type is one that requires acceptance and approval. I'm the kind of person that needs to know that others think that what I'm doing is the right thing to do. I will admit that as I've gotten older, I don't have this constant need to be praised or accepted. I'm pretty confident in my own ways. But I feel like a lot of these messages help me to do that. It's like I'm getting my needed approval from unknowing sources.
It's no secret that I am raising a pair of strong-willed, high-spirited children. When Brody was about 18 months old, our Parents as Teachers lady told us that it was going to be a challenge to direct his fearlessness as he gets older. Yeah, what a nice way to put it. And what a challenge to have! And people will tell me how sweet Madelyn is, and my first response is usually, 'yeah, she's as ornery as she is sweet.'
Yesterday, I took Brody to a classmate's birthday party at Chuck E Cheese. After the party was over, I told Brody it was time to leave. He acted like he was ok with it and we started to walk towards a place that we could put his jacket on. And then he darted off. I was furious. I chased him and chased him around the whole restaurant. I felt like an idiot. I almost gave up and sat down until he got tired, but I'm smart enough to know that it wouldn't happen. Finally, I caught up to him and told him that he couldn't have his candy that he got with his tickets if he didn't leave with me. I hate to use bribes and threats with him, but there are times that I just give up and it works.
Then we got home and I realized that I hadn't completed half of what I wanted to for the weekend. I had planned to do some freezer cooking, the floors didn't get cleaned, the carpets didn't get vacuumed, the playroom was a mess, we had laundry mountain on our bed, stuff for Madelyn's birthday party didn't get done, the list goes on. So, between that and still being upset about Brody at Chuck E Cheese, I wasn't in the best mood. I tried to get dinner made and Madelyn wanted to be held, wanted to go potty, wanted to help, was getting too close to the stove, made a mess with water out of the fridge, this list goes on, too. So, by the time they went to bed, I felt totally defeated. Instead of folding laundry, Heath went and got us Dairy Queen and we watched some tv. I was feeling bad about myself, bad about the mother I was that day, and just grumpy.
This afternoon, I read this post by one of my favorite bloggers. It just seemed so perfect and put everything into a different perspective. One that I don't want to forget. I'm constantly worried about the kids being perfect now, when maybe they already are. I can't wait to see who they turn out to be, and I hope that I am able to help steer them in the right direction by providing the right opportunities.
That's it...have a great week!
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